David Sedaris - The Stadium Pal.mov
Marriage must continually vanquish a monster that devours everything: the monster of habit.
1. If the group to which I will speak to is of mixed gender, they must be separated in the seating (this includes married men and women).
2. When addressing me with a question (at the end of my lecture), questioners may refer me to as Sadhu.
3. Meals are to be provided by the individual/organization which sponsors me and must be vegetarian. Ideally, I would like it to be provided on traditional banana leaves as is custom in my native India.
4. Although I have no objections to people who practice homosexuality, I prefer audience members do not consist of homosexuals. The talk will pertain only to heterosexual people and I prefer not to get mired in the recent controversial topics in the USA about homosexual marriage.
5. A mutually agreed fee will be paid at the beginning of the lecture in American dollars. Transportation must be provided by the sponsoring individual/organization.
5A. I cannot travel at night.
6. Background music must be provided before, during, and after the speaking engagement. My preference is calm traditional classical Indian music consisting of sitar and mridangum. (Conversely Western music an also be provided if it is instrumental. In the past I have had popular western music by such musical acts as Massive Attack, Morceeba, Thievery Corporation played by the disc jockey as background music. All western music must be approved by me at least 3 weeks
prior to the speaking engagement).
7. Visitors are permitted backstage after the speaking engagement. However, there can be no physical contact between myself and the visitors.
8. Consumption of alcohol, dairy, recreational drugs are not permitted in the venue before, during or immediately after the speaking engagement.
(1) A right choice of marriage partner.
(2) A good psychological attitude of the partners, both to the world in general and to each other.
(3) A solution of the problem of parentage which meets the wishes of both partners.
(4) A vigorous and harmonious sex life.